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Jul 13, 2023

The 13 Attitudes for Super Sex

Posted June 6, 2023 | Reviewed by Vanessa Lancaster

All the tried-and-true advice about the power of positive thinking in life applies to sex, too. Attitudes can be positive or negative. In sex, as in all other human endeavors, the former lifts you up, and the latter pulls you down.

"John was convinced that our sex life would deteriorate after marriage, and so it did," Sally said. "We had great sex before we were married. Our sexual appetites were compatible. We had no performance problems. I was equally convinced that things grew stale because he strongly believed they would. He made fun of my attempts to put the sizzle back in our relationship, calling them ‘women's magazine games.'

On our second anniversary, I gave him an ultimatum. He could accompany me to a marriage-enrichment weekend or sit down with me and figure out how to divide our property in divorce. I wasn't kidding. We went to the weekend seminar. It was a turning point for us. John began to shed some of his cynicism about life in general–and marriage and sex in particular. We’ve come a long way since then."

Do you doubt that a change of attitude can really change your sex life? Try an experiment. Whenever you think, for example, "My partner doesn't have orgasms during intercourse because she's frigid,"–replace the thought with, "My partner and I together can learn more about what she needs to have an orgasm during intercourse."

The right attitude is energizing, and positive actions often follow positive thoughts. Here are the basic attitudes toward sexy sex:

To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.

Knowledge Courage Freedom Involvement Trust. Generosity Communication Loving context Willingness to seek help Good health Egalitarianism Sensuality Humor. To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
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